Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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