i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
