also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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