he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
