yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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