Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
