When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
