i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
