I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
