This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Floor bacon is actually really good
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
