i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
