Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
