I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
