the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
