i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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