So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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