and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
