11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
