just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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