PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
