:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
