You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
