Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
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