I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
