I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
