birth control should be required to get into college
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
