I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
