The maid of honor just puked.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I met the friendliest cop last night
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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