There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
