How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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