meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
