walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
