check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
