I'm jealous of your bromance
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Randomize
