He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
