Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Pants are for mortals
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
