I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Still dying that you shit outside
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
