Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I CAN MOONWALK!
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
