I want you more than these girls want KFC
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
