I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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