You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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