No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
