i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
