Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
sarcasm needs its own font
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
