Where did you get a picture of my penis
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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