I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
