hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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