I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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