the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
