'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
